EDUCATING CHILDREN IN THESE TIMES
Educating children is not an easy task. After the Lord has blessed me with a large family, I have come to understand how challenging it can be and how the role of a parent as an educator never ends. What complicates matters is that in today’s society, families tend to have few children (the norm being one or two), and they are often overly indulgent. Children are given everything, from money to privileges to freedoms, and more.
Parents often complain that there is no school or university to teach us how to raise children. I believe it is better that such institutions do not exist because their teachings would be worldly rather than godly. Therefore, Christians must turn to the Word of God, which is rich in teachings on how to raise children.
Although there are many biblical cases that provide lessons (such as Cain and Abel, the sons of Jacob, Samson, Nadab and Abihu, etc.), in this study, we will focus on the sons of Eli and the sons of Job. One commonality between these texts is that both sets of children were given freedoms, and the consequences were evident when they became adults.
SONS OF ELI
In Chapters 2 and 3 of 1 Samuel, we have the case of the sons of Eli. They were Levites (a tribe of Israel dedicated exclusively to ministering in the temple of God) and were sons of the high priest Eli, so from childhood, they must have had a close relationship with the Bible and religious practices of the Israelites. However, the way they are described says:
“Now the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know the Lord.” 1 Samuel 2:12
When one reads this text, one wonders, how could the sons of the high priest be corrupt? The answer is simple. If from a young age we teach our children that the Bible says not to lie or steal, but they lie and steal from a young age (even if it’s just a few coins for candy) and as parents, we don’t say anything, don’t instruct them, don’t correct them. What will happen when those children become teenagers and lying and economic needs become much greater? Will they have any respect for the Word when we haven’t instilled respect for it since they were children?
In fact, later in the text, God speaks to Eli and rebukes his indulgent parenting, saying:
“Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling place, and honor your sons more than Me?” 1 Samuel 2:29
And later refers to them, saying:
“For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them.” 1 Samuel 3:13
Therefore, if God is first in our lives, we must make sure that our children respect the word of God, and we cannot be indulgent and tolerant parents. They will tell us that the rest of the kids their age are doing this or that, but the firmness we have in saying no to social pressure, correcting when necessary, and not being liberal will bear fruit, because otherwise, they will not have respect for the things of God.
There are parents who may be reading this study and thinking that their child is 8 or 14 years old and that the things they do are not so serious. That if it goes further, they will correct them. The Word insists that it must be done early. When they are older, experience tells us that they don’t want to listen to their parents.
“…they did not heed the voice of their father.” 1 Samuel 2:25
The story doesn’t end well at all, because God proceeds to remove Eli as a priest and punishes him (1 Samuel 2:31-35), and God concludes by saying:
“…for those who honor Me I will honor, and those who despise Me shall be lightly esteemed.” 1 Samuel 2:30
God wants us to honor Him in our family life by ensuring that our children have reverence for Him.
THE SONS OF JOB
The other very interesting case of biblical teaching is that of the sons of Job. When one reads the book of Job, it doesn’t focus on the problems of his children, but we are going to do it now because, although Job was described in this way:
“…that man was blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil.” Job 1:1
The story tells us that his sons were what we commonly call “daddy’s boys.” He was a very rich man, God had blessed him greatly, but it seems that he had been indulgent and permissive with his ten children. In fact, the Word implies that when they were already adults, their behavior left much to be desired:
“…and each one on his appointed day would send and invite his three sisters to eat and drink with them.” Job 1:4
Job was so concerned about the conduct of his children and had suspicions of bad attitudes toward God that it kept him from sleeping.
“So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, ‘It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.’ Thus Job did regularly.” Job 1:5
When children are already of legal age, if we have been indulgent with them all their lives from childhood and adolescence, it will be very difficult to change them when they are of legal age. The consequences can be disastrous with addictions, bad company, crimes, etc. In fact, in this passage, the consequence was that they died while feasting:
“Now there was a day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house…” Job 1:13-15
The word of God also implies that the mother plays a key role in the education of children, and in the passage of Job in particular, his wife does not seem to have been God-fearing, so much so that when trials came upon them, she abandoned Job and told him:
“…Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” Job 2:9
DISCIPLINE
The word of God teaches us in different texts how it is necessary to correct and discipline our children. In the book of Ephesians, the Lord orders us the following:
“bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord“ Ephesians 6:4
If we stop to think about what this verse is trying to tell us, it is actually much deeper than we think. We must teach our children what is right and all teachings according to the word of God; we must discipline them, and when we do so, we must show them with the word of God where they have erred. We cannot condone behaviors or sins because their friends do it or society imposes it. God must come first in our home, and they must understand that.
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Deuteronomy 6:5-9
As for the manner and timing of punishment, the word of God is very rich in the book of Proverbs. From there, you can read all these verses:
“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Proverbs 13:24
“Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.” Proverbs 19:18
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15
“Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.” Proverbs 23:13
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Proverbs 29:15-17
It is true that each child is different. Children within the same family, having the same teachings and the same environment, some are more responsible, others more intelligent, and some may turn out more rebellious. What the Word is clear about is that “foolishness is bound up” in children and youth, and “the rod of correction” will drive away such foolishness from them (Proverbs 22:15). That is to say, by indulging their every whim (parties, electronic devices, material possessions, unrestricted internet use, money…), we will not succeed in removing the “foolishness” but rather it will become ingrained in them.
Disciplining our children is not easy. The easy thing is to let them do whatever they want. If they go out with their friends to party, they won’t bother at home, if they spend all day watching TV or on the internet, they won’t bother either, and if we give them money to spend, there is peace in the home. But I insist, is that Christian education? The difficult thing is to establish norms according to the Word and make our children comply with them.
As a father, every time I have to correct one of my children, whether they are teenagers or children, it entails a great emotional and time effort for me (I insist, the easy thing is not to do it and be permissive). Children generally (some more and some less) will have a negative and rebellious attitude towards punishment, they will perform that attitude to make us think twice about applying correction next time. Among these attitudes are not recognizing the mistake or defending their behavior, tantrums and bad attitudes that sometimes last for days, rebellious attitudes, etc. This behavior aims to make parents feel that if they punish or are strict, the correction on them will be worse next time.
Parents must be firm because the Word of God not only recommends it but commands it, and we know that God will hold us accountable as parents. The Lord wants a holy offspring for Himself.
“Did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.” Malachi 2:15
Whenever correction is for a good cause, they will eventually realize it. In the book of Hebrews, it tells us:
‘We have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect.’ Hebrews 12:9
And it is true, if we look back, we will remember with gratitude when our earthly parents disciplined us, and we respected them. In my personal case, I regret that they were sometimes lenient when I was young, as I would have been a more focused youth in the things of God and would have had a happier adolescence.
